So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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