Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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