so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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