In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
