I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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