just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
