Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
