It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
