I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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