ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
