i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
