very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
