we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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