Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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