So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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