I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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