I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
