shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
