If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
