We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We smell like vodka and hangover
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