I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My pussy is not your playground.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
