So drunk, too bad you don't want this
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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