My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
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I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
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hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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