oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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