Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Randomize
