By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
