Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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