..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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