You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
