So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
