And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
