Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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