i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
