Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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