Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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