Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize