its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
