well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
