You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
