That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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