i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
