Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
