we're blogging at a bar
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
