We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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