There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
