his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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