he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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