Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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