sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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