Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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