Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
