hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
