You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
