Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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