Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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