i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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