I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
