The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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