just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
