well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
