And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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