Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
