Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Pants are for mortals
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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